To Be Loverly

I haven’t seen you

I haven’t seen you

the night is quiet and the world is still

the clock ticks as the minutes turn into hours

dawn approaches

i hear an old familiar knock

at first i close my eyes tight and will the sound to stop

but yet there it is again..

that old familiar knock on the door of my heart

i let out a sigh of desperation

why have you come to visit

you bring such sadness and unrequited love

rolling my eyes as i let you in

7 years..

one would think

i would know better then to answer this door

yet

i let you stay a while

sifting through old memories

plans made but never finished

pictures taken and a life that i no longer remember

you held my heart

and as i draw a breath it breaks once again for you

i shake my head as if a rotten image has poisoned my mind

and the thoughts quickly fade

i am happy for you

the life you live seems so full of love

i smile a sad smile

someday a love will flood my heart 

and i will too be happy

i bid farewell to the visitor of the night

say silent prayers that he wont be visiting me again

i close my eyes, welcome the fading night

and try to find my rest tonight.

-tobeloverly

Serial dater..

How do you tell your ex that he is a serious serial dater? I just happened to look at his Instagram which I hadn’t done since before Christmas and noticed he is hitting on girls via Instagram again.. Smh.. I am starting to realize I was one of those girls and dang it I fell for it.

I am definitely not falling for guys via social networking anymore.

Obsessed.

I am seriously obsessed with Indie films. I don’t know if it is the struggles so often portrayed that helps me connect and feel for the characters, or the usually so in your face blunt comedy/life commentary.. Ahh happy Liz heart.

Not gonna lie….

but I secretly wish I would know what it feels like to be pregnant and then give birth and hold him/her for the first time and have my heart flood with love… 

#27yroldsinglegirlproblems #lordhelpme

New Years resolutions failed..

So I made a lot of New Years resolutions last year.. And well I’ve failed at most all of them. I am still so broke (like I just wrote a check to my dad and am praying that money falls from heaven).. I am still not happy with my self… I haven’t moisturized everyday or knocked a thing off of my bucket list.. Man I’ve been a bum this year.

So I’ve decided a pre New Years resolution … It’s called Just Do It. Yeah yeah I know it is also the Nike slogan, but it fits so perfectly.

In five short months ill be turning 28 and this will mark 10 years since I was in the best fitness of my life, and my ten year high school reunion. I don’t expect that I will ever be 118 lbs again with a killer bod.. But as close as I can get will be awesome.

This year is gonna be about doing all the things I wanted to do to me but haven’t.

•grow out my hair
•take dance classes
•join a boot camp of some kind by march
•do a juice fast (this one scares me)
•hang out with people I love more
•worry less
•SAVE MY MONEY
•figure out what my fashion wants to be for the next five years bc I’m all over the place
•do the little things I put off.. Too many to list
•go to church regularly.

And lastly…
GO OUT ON DATES.. Have fun and live a little because frankly I get too shy far too often.

Ps. To all you lovelies who have sent me cards for Christmas I got them I’m just too poor to put stamps on mine right now. I promise they are coming :(

myeyesarehazel:

Surprisingly, perfectionists are often procrastinators, as they can tend to think “I don’t have the right skills or resources to do this perfectly now, so I won’t do it at all.”

Hmm I do this all the time.. Darn you perfectionism …