To Be Loverly
I dream. I bake. I create. I write.
Above all else...
I haven’t seen you
the night is quiet and the world is still
the clock ticks as the minutes turn into hours
i hear an old familiar knock
at first i close my eyes tight and will the sound to stop
but yet there it is again..
that old familiar knock on the door of my heart
i let out a sigh of desperation
why have you come to visit
you bring such sadness and unrequited love
rolling my eyes as i let you in
one would think
i would know better then to answer this door
i let you stay a while
sifting through old memories
plans made but never finished
pictures taken and a life that i no longer remember
you held my heart
and as i draw a breath it breaks once again for you
i shake my head as if a rotten image has poisoned my mind
and the thoughts quickly fade
i am happy for you
the life you live seems so full of love
i smile a sad smile
someday a love will flood my heart
and i will too be happy
i bid farewell to the visitor of the night
say silent prayers that he wont be visiting me again
i close my eyes, welcome the fading night
and try to find my rest tonight.
“ I hope that someday, somebody wants to hold you for twenty minutes straight, and that’s all they do. They don’t pull away. They don’t look at your face, they don’t try to kiss you. All they do is wrap you up in their arms, without an ounce of selfishness in it. ”
My favorite movie!!!
How do you tell your ex that he is a serious serial dater? I just happened to look at his Instagram which I hadn’t done since before Christmas and noticed he is hitting on girls via Instagram again.. Smh.. I am starting to realize I was one of those girls and dang it I fell for it.
I am definitely not falling for guys via social networking anymore.
I am seriously obsessed with Indie films. I don’t know if it is the struggles so often portrayed that helps me connect and feel for the characters, or the usually so in your face blunt comedy/life commentary.. Ahh happy Liz heart.
but I secretly wish I would know what it feels like to be pregnant and then give birth and hold him/her for the first time and have my heart flood with love…
So I made a lot of New Years resolutions last year.. And well I’ve failed at most all of them. I am still so broke (like I just wrote a check to my dad and am praying that money falls from heaven).. I am still not happy with my self… I haven’t moisturized everyday or knocked a thing off of my bucket list.. Man I’ve been a bum this year.
So I’ve decided a pre New Years resolution … It’s called Just Do It. Yeah yeah I know it is also the Nike slogan, but it fits so perfectly.
In five short months ill be turning 28 and this will mark 10 years since I was in the best fitness of my life, and my ten year high school reunion. I don’t expect that I will ever be 118 lbs again with a killer bod.. But as close as I can get will be awesome.
This year is gonna be about doing all the things I wanted to do to me but haven’t.
•grow out my hair
•take dance classes
•join a boot camp of some kind by march
•do a juice fast (this one scares me)
•hang out with people I love more
•SAVE MY MONEY
•figure out what my fashion wants to be for the next five years bc I’m all over the place
•do the little things I put off.. Too many to list
•go to church regularly.
GO OUT ON DATES.. Have fun and live a little because frankly I get too shy far too often.
Ps. To all you lovelies who have sent me cards for Christmas I got them I’m just too poor to put stamps on mine right now. I promise they are coming :(
Surprisingly, perfectionists are often procrastinators, as they can tend to think “I don’t have the right skills or resources to do this perfectly now, so I won’t do it at all.”
Hmm I do this all the time.. Darn you perfectionism …